Send me no flowers. Buy me no beetles

I love plants. Little planty-plants. I love that I again have a yard to plant them in. Yes it's a tiny yard but anything in the city is a bonus. The fact that I have a tiny plot where I can watch my staples (lettuce, onions and tomatoes) grow makes me giddy. There is little room for anything else as the rest of the yard is landscaped. But I take over any little spot left. Which is why I ordered 2 Hydrangeas from Spring Hill. Unhappily they came at different times. Even worse when the first one came it was nearly dead. It did survive thanks to a lot of TLC from me. But when the second one came (a month later) first of all there were 3. Where am I going to put 3 bushes that grow to be about 3 by 4. Apparently I had ordered 3 as they only came in groups of 3. These too were not looking so hot. They had severe cases of black spot. Well, what was I gonna do? Plant the least looking dead one of course. Frustrated, but in love with the visions of lovely smelling multicolored flowers, I dug the hole across from the other bush. As I loosened the plant from the container and stuck my fingers in to loosen the bound roots a beetle fell into the hole I dug.
Well that was IT!
I had R take pictures of the plants and pictures of the beetle because, thank goodness they have a good return policy and, I was MAD. He sent the pictures and a letter telling them he wanted a refund. I wandered around drinking wiskey having had my recreation spoiled Stupid beetle trying to infest my plants. Grumble, grumble, grumble

The next day R got an email back from them confirming his shipment
R: Apparently in the Spring Hill world "refund" means "send more beetles".
Me: Yippie. Is there really a point for me to respond?
R: Okay. It’s fixed. No new beetles after all. And a co-worker told me there is a flower shop near the house
Me: Why? You want to get me flowers or beetles?
R: Are beetles considered bling?
Me: No. And I don’t care what the ancient Egyptian have been telling you