All right people….Flip-flops are NOT shoes!

What is with this new fetish of flip-flops? And I do mean Fetish! They dress them up with sequins and lace. They’ve been built up so they are wedge heels. It’s everywhere I look. This is the business district people, not the beach. No matter how you dress them up they are still shower sandals. And it’s not just idiotic women. We all know women are notorious suckers for shoes; I have 3 pairs by both the front and back door. Most women have at least one pair in the closet they never wear, probably still in the shoebox. Personally I have a closet full of shoeboxes. But nooo. I look around and it’s the men too. What is up? Did someone cast a stupid spell this fashion season? But it’s men too. What is up? Those things aren’t even comfortable with that damn little wedge between your toes being the only thing holding it to your foot, making that floppit-flip sound. Not to mention, but I will, that they are terribly impractical. Remember when you were a kid running around with your friends and someone stepped on the back of the thing, in between the flop and the flip, and it jerked ripping the delicate flesh between your toes as that damn toe peg ripped up thru the foamy sole? Remember how it felt when someone would step on your foot? Remember when you dropped the cup. Who knew a cup dropped directly on the toe/foot could hurt so badly? Or how about the time you dropped the crowbar and it ripped your toenail off, or when your sister threw the lawn Jart and you tried to move but your foot just slipped in the thong from the dewy grass and you had to go to the hospital.
I know, I know, Jarts aren’t legal anymore and people on Michigan Ave. or in the financial district aren’t likely to have crowbars and knives…or are they? After all most people probably didn’t think they would see flip-flops on the feet of the business attired co-worker in the elevator.