battered-dipped and fried

If this week had been any indication of our health, you'd think R and I were ripped.
But dah'ling the only ripped we are is on whiskey.

We roller bladed over to a Gym and signed up for memberships. Mostly so we could swim (and quite a sweet set up. Sauna, steam room, and pool on the 4th floor with a nice view of the city). I'm going to (once a trainer calls me) learn how to use all that equipment and sign up for yoga and maybe some kick boxing. So we rolerbladed back home. Thursday we went out to look for (and ended up buying) a bike for R. Saturday he biked over to the gym and I went biking with my sister. Sunday and Monday we biked to the grocery store. On the way there I got run down by a bike that came from NOWHERE.
"Your Honor, It was most definitely NOT my fault. I looked behind me, past R who was following at a safe distance, slowed for the intersection, looked for cross traffic and began to turn when BAM!"

True I had given no indication I was turning...but if you are biking up past someone you are supposed to say..."On your right/left" So me-crash-bounce-skid-intersection. I look up from my napping place on the asphalt and see that the wrecking ball that hit me was a guy on a bike who was not only uninjured but upright and biking back towards me. At which point I realized happily that my glasses had not fallen off. The pair biking (2 guys) made sure I was okay. "I'm so sorry, I came out of nowhere, are you all right?" Shaken and sore I limp to the curb as a convention of cars had now arrived to humiliate me some more. As I assured the crowd I was fine and one of the evil bikers helped me put my chain back on. Aside form a hip/thigh bruise and an upper inner arm road rash I decided I was fine enough to go on to the store. I told R. I was pleased I had managed not to let my head hit the ground. R said he was very proud of me not trying to start a fight.
Me: although it really was more their fault than any of mine, they were nice enough and since I was shaken up and there were two of them...I think they could have taken me.
R: That's never stopped you before

Today aside from big 'ol shiner on my thigh and the lovely patch on my arm, that continuously weeps for it's missing skin, I have tender bruises showing up all over the place. Inner calf right leg, left wrist bone, back and shoulder left side, right foot, and still have sore muscles all over the place