Insert sound of disgust and annoyance

Apparently I will be cleaning the apartment this weekend.

There is at least one cat in the house pissing me off!
I've had to throw away clothes, 2 bath mats, pillows, shoes, etc.
This cat (or cats as I have caught 2 doing such naughtiness). It is very hard for me to resist the urges that would only get PETA on my ass. I swear the only thing that stops me is the thought that, perhaps they ARE just dumb animals and not the vindictive little demons I believe them to be (especially at that moment). That and the fact that the damn things are so small, run so fast, and can hide places I can't get to. Good thing I don't have kids.



Let me just say I have been accused if having a sensitive sense of smell. However, if you know what I'm talking about...then you know that it must only compound the problem.

I decided to weigh myself this morning. The scale gets almost absolutely no use so in order to do this I have to dig the scale out of the corner where cleaner and the tiny garbage can sit on it. Hmm, why does it look rusty. I haven't had it that long.
So I moved the CAT PISS LOGGED scale in the bathroom. Ugh, sniff, gag, clean.
Fine, fine, fine. I'd beat them but obviously this is old, I have to go to work, and they're just dumb animals...Right?
For a couple days this week I thought I smelled...sniff, sniff..."What is that?"...cat piss at work. I thought it was my clothes (which, being hung up and put away made no sense). I thought maybe it WAS on something and then on my chair. 3 days ago, me with my nose on my chair like I'm smelling for farts...nope. Then I thought I had been hallucinating when it wasn't there a rainy yesterday. Today *sniff...sniff*. I smell it again. I change shoes at work, but usually take those off to as I like to sit on my feet. *Sniff, sniff* Is that my foot? I bring my left foot up to my nose (yes I am that flexable). Hmmm, smells a little like... I go wash my feet, but after lunch I smell it again. It's comming from under my desk. I realize it is coming from my Doc Martin sandals. Yippie. I'm sure that comes out of leather. I just busted these out for summer...Now I have to figure out where they were (closet I believe) and clean that too.

It's hard to work when you smell like piss