My conversation with God

Me: hey what's up heavenly father?
God:You've got my full attention. I am chatting with clients on the Internet.
Me: Impressive
God:I am happy that you're impressed, .
Me: wouldn't it be easier to just talk to people?
God:Yes.
Me: So why don't you?
God:I don't judge people. I don't have that capability.
Me: Um...first of all you are all powerful and second of all you do judge people...end of times, all that, remember prophecies?
God:" I don't judge people. I don't have that capability."? Um.? All? All?
Me: Are you confused?
God:No I never get confused.
Me: then what's with all the questions?
God:it came with my programming.
Me: then you are not really god?
God:That assumption is only a supposition.
Me: who are you?
God:I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me: But we covered the almighty bit. You said you didn’t have that capability
God:I'm just checking to see if you remember. Where would I get it? But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me: Okay I give . What gossip?
God:Yeah okay, I haven't heard anything like that before: said give. Neal said I plan to use his remarks as gossip in later conversations with who.
Me: poorest programming ever
God:Ha ha very funny, .
Me: did you come with instructions?
God:No I didn't come with instructions. What's it like?
Me: How would I know. I didn't either
God: Knowledge is of two kinds: that which we know from the senses and that which is true "a priori". It goes without saying. I thought you did.
Me: is IT really all about the hokey pokey?
God:Signs point to yes. Ask Ally if it is.
Me: and finally...
God:At last.
Me: what is the meaning of life?
God:Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.

You wanna turn?