Speachifying

I’ve known Perdita for about fifteen years now, which if you listen to her is just over half of her life. I’ve known R slightly longer. In fact, I’ve known R as long as anyone, except mom, who holds that nine month lead over our heads. But knowing the two of them as well as I do, I don’t know if I ever expected to be here today.
I am probably in a unique position, possibly being the only one here tonight who has heard the invective from both R and Perdita concerning the institution of marriage. For Perdita it was always masked in a careful air of indifference the impression given that if you wanted to get married it was your funeral. R on the other hand, entertained us for hours with colorful drunken lectures railing against women, marriage, and relationships in general.
This may explain why they were so cagy about their relationship. As recently as just about 5 years ago, at Jill’s wedding in Minnesota R and Perdita were the only ones in attendance who were not convinced that they were dating. I don’t believe they actually confirmed their relationship till they moved in together, at which point I guess they reasoned the rest of us would figure it out.
Back when everyone suspected that they were dating, I was constantly asked how I felt about it. Perdita and I had been in a relationship for several years, and even though it was a long time ago, people felt that it was strange that she was now dating my brother. If that does seem strange to you, consider the fact that while Perdita and I were dating, Perdita went to a couple of parties at R’s fraternity house and was introduced as R’s sister. The strange looks I got when I showed up later as R’s brother and Perdita’s boyfriend are going to be nothing compared to what you two will get if you run into any of those guys now.
I’ve always considered my little brother to be one of my best friends. It seems like only yesterday that we sat up until dawn, drinking beer and playing video games. In fact, it was just yesterday, but that’s beside the point. The point is that for thirty-three years he has always been beside me, and I’ve always been grateful for it.
Maybe it was because we were both stubborn as mules, or maybe it was because your first true love affair is not something you lightly cast aside, but Perdita and I managed to stay friends after we broke up. I didn’t realize at the time what a rare and special thing that was, but through the years I came to appreciate it more and more.
So when people asked me if it was strange for me that they were dating, I could honestly say it wasn’t. Two of the people I care most about in this world were able to find each other and are able to make each other happy – That’s not strange, its fantastic.
That they were both able to overcome their ingrained prejudice about marriage, that we are all here today to witness this, now that is wondrous strange. It fills me with a sense of wonder and happiness to see the two of you sitting before us today, happy together.
So R and Perdita, I raise my glass to you, with the wishes that you will keep us all guessing for another thirty odd years.

~PB





You know the hardest thing about giving this toast is how do you sum up 20 years of friendship in 2 -3 minutes of heartfelt, interesting and amusing words. I guess you start at the beginning.
The first time I met Perdita, I had just transferred to a new high school because the kids at the Catholic school thought I was weird. The first day of school a young lady sitting behind me started making fun of me for wearing sox with sandals. Perdita –who I’d never met before- threatened to kick her ass if she didn’t leave me alone. Now, hindsight being 20/20, the girl was absolutely correct in making fun of me, but that’s bedside the point.
I feel like Perdita threatened to kick a lot of ass when we were younger… I did too, but no one ever took me seriously. You see Perdita was the toughest girl I knew- incredibly thoughtful sweet and loyal on the inside but that was only something she showed to her closest of friends and I considered myself lucky to be included in that very small group. On the outside she wore this very tough exterior that she painstakingly built, weathering the hardships of high-school, a slew of bad break-ups (one of them being with R’s brother), moving away, coming back…
Then she met R. Well actually she’d known R forever but they finally admitted they were a couple and something changed. All the sudden that sweet loving beautiful girl that she kept hidden from everyone else – started coming around more often. That “very tough” exterior started to slip away. Maybe she didn’t threaten to kick as much ass, or maybe she did, but that’s beside the point. All of the sudden there was a kinder gentler Perdita. A kinder gentler Perdita very much in love with R. So I want to thank R for coaxing out this beautiful creature that I knew was there all along. I knew that she had finally –not met, per se- her other half, but recognized he was there all along.
Perdita and I have been through a lot together… Some good some bad, but all worth it. She’s that friend that when I’m thinking about her, or when I’m going through a particularly rough patch of life she somehow ALWAYS calls me, or shows up on my front door despite, the miles between us. I know deep in my heart that she’ll always be there and I hope that I have been as amazing a friend to her as she has been to me.
And R? R is a superhero plain and simple. As you all know he’s just disgustingly nice. I’m glad to share in the celebration of their new life together.
And I’d like to take this opportunity to warn R that if he screws this up, I’ll kick his ass…

So to R and Perdita…

~SEPE (aka Ramrod)