the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didnt exist

...and like that...poof...he's gone

This will only be here for a few days lest some who knows me actually stumble onto this site.
But I just needed to vent
and feel lucky

Once my best friend sagely said, "He's a wife beater"
That was before I left him, maybe even when I thought I was still in love (or at least in contentment). She would know a wife beater. She had history with it. I stood by her, supported her, picked her up, held her, until I could take no more and told her to tell me how it ended. But that’s what it took at 19 to break the cycle. She finally broke free. I did too before I knew she was right. Oh sure EPOD (Self titled the evil prince of darkness) had a few stand offs, but they were like "Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf" Stand offs. He couldn’t control me and he knew it. His parents couldn’t control me either (much to their disappointment) I was too oblivious and stubborn to be manipulated. Our 5th Christmas together the father presents mother and daughter with expensive (but gaudy) jewelry and turns to me saying “ You only get the good gifts once you’ve married in”. All I could think was Your trying to buy your son a wife? with ugly jewelry?

I once explained to EPOD, due to the way I was raised and the neighborhood I grew up in, that once there was confrontation that my adrenalin could not be stopped.
Long story short...Mean Bad Ass when feeling cornered
We fronted a few times and I warned him every time, and he backed down.
It’s not that EPOD was mean. He was just very in control. He bottled everything up. He didn’t deal with emotions and would sometimes explode or break down.

I left him
he got over it quickly
Less than year later here was this email

Perdita- I do not feel bad about the distance between us. The only person who wanted to label me as someone who could not be friends with an ex was you. Over the past year I have realized that your opinion is not important to me. You use that excuse to manipulate me and that will not work anymore. I have found happiness with The Help and we will be married October 11th. I have a wonderful life with her and her daughter and look forward to my future with them and our own children. Your wish of happiness is nice but really not needed. We have all the happiness we need. The Help fits in with my family very well as her and my sister have been friends for eight years and her and my mom for almost as long. She cares about the people that are important to me and everything that is important to me. Not to be rude but you are not one of those people anymore and that is something I should have told you on June 15th when you showed up at my house and The Help was there. Any doubts or "petty thoughts" you have about my happiness or relationship are totally unneeded. As far as us being very good friends not very long ago, I do not think that is true. You kept me in your life as a crutch and it is time for you to move on. You did give up on us and that is something you have to live with, not I. You actually did me a favor. I have truly found happiness for the first time in my life. Have a great life and I do not feel future communication is necessary. In a month I will be someone's husband and I KNOW that you will respect that.

Always meaning what I say, EPOD and The Help

Sorry but I don't have the email I set him. Only that it was I wish I had heard it from him and it would be easer to know he was happy if I had heard it from him, but I did as always wish him (them) happiness. That was like 3 years ago.
Tonight I found out he crossed the line. He pushed the love of his life down on the asphalt. I know, I know. And if it had been an accident then...God who hasn't been there. But they were fighting and, well, I've been there before too. Facing that very man.
They had been fighting and he left. She tracked her husband down at 4am. Found him staying at a friends house. Her friend had driven her. The argument continued and he exploded. If it had been me and one of my friends (sisters) his ass wouldn't have gone into work the next day from shame and bruises. No friend of mine would have let him push me around. No friend of mine would have let him get that wound up and aggressive. I am notorious for carrying a small aluminum Easton bat when I have accompanied my sisters back to get their things from a bad situation. Its permanent place is next to the drivers side door in my car. It’s from back in the days of my solo cross country travels. I’m not saying she couldn’t handle her husband…I’m just saying I would have been between them in a flash, Easton in hand, and warned him not to touch her again.