Car to remain nameless...

will convince you it's anythingbutcute even if it has to disturb people












I realize I have just pimped them, but the cute little story telling voice about the little animals followed by death threats and violence is a bit off the beaten path, even for a car manufactured just outside Chicago







and, um.....

Rare Condition Cat

Friday one of my cats got her head stuck in my dog’s mouth.
Well that’s what to dog said happened. It has happened before. Previously it resulted in my continual return to the vets office. After 2 days of wiring, setting and me coming back “Yeah, it looks funny again” the local vets said her jaw couldn’t be set. It was broken in the middle and dislocated. They could fix one or the other but not both.
Fortunately when you live in a farming state there are great schools for veterinarian medicine and out of the box thinkers when it comes to fixing and diagnosing animals. My mom drove me to the veterinarian college a couple towns away.
The surgical vets looked at her, the dental vets looked at her as we discussed why it was hard to keeping the joint AND wire the front of the jaw back together. Finally my mom offers up that at the farm they once glued an animals front teeth together as it had dislocated it’s jaw, but, then it could still suck milk. The vets agreed the idea could work, holding the jaw in location and wiring the front back together. If they glued the top canines to the bottom I would be able to shoot some sort of slurried food in and decided the only problem would be hydration.
The cat cost me over a grand to fix, 6 weeks of feeding slurry and twice daily IV’s of water.

This time she, after the “head in mouth” incident, initially looked fine. Except for the wet sound in her eat and the fact that her head and neck felt a little crinkly when I pet her. Then she shook out a little spatter of blood and we were off to the vet. By the time we got there she had begun to look a bit like a porpoise head, all inflated on the front and rounded. Some how she got air trapped between her skin and muscles, this plus the bleeding or fluid accumulation in the middle ear and the vet could diagnose it. Subcutaneous emphysema. Which is APPARENTLY most often a symptom shown by scuba divers when involving the ear and otherwise stabbing and gun shot wounds. I really wonder what THIS vet did before working here.

Election Day Humor

While walking down the street one day a US Senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the man.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the senator.

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."

And w ith that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises...
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

"Now it's time to visit heaven."

So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. "I don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course, clubhouse, we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning......Today you voted."