How Fiber Works

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Perhaps if I'd waited - - - I had no trouble this time either.
I have found that there are times I have a problem.
I may not have made myself clear.
This time, I could get to the page to compose but got no - - oh, phooey, what is that blinking line

more or less lost

I had a dream about a high school friend last night.
He had passed my thoughts before but now I am consumed with the idea of contacting him.

I was able to find a friend that had moved across country twice, but I can find this guy anywhere.
I know his age, his brothers name and age, I know his dad's occupation, I hear he is married with a kid, but I just can't find him
And it's driving me crazy this morning.

So it looks like I'll be sending his dad a card at his office and hope they are on speaking terms.

It must have been something in the air.

When I opened up my email this morning I had about 12 emails from my mom that were just recipes.

This weekend I sat down with my new Fanny Farmer cookbook, well it’s new to me. It’s quite fascinating, from start, explanation of the chemical processes (I FINALLY get what “cream of tartar” powder is for) that occur in food during cooking, to finish, with 1880’s advertising in the back. Oh yeah and there are helpful household tips and recipes in there too.

Having this book has made the way I have always cooked easier. I don’t think I have ever followed a recipe exactly. I have always used them as more of a suggestion. But here is a book that can break stuff down into is most basic form. That makes substitution and manipulation very easy.
I spent the weekend cooking all sorts of yummy-ness.
I also created a marrion berry and port wine sauce that is almost perfect (needs a little more work) and fantastic on venison steak.

Game Night Takes A Turn

R recently decided to start a game night with his friends. Every other Thursday. It made me feel old and kinda lame.
When you find you are at that age where you have to establish a game night (not because you realize you are not spending enough “Family Time” but just to see your friends it’s awfully sobering.

Till you start looking into games


umm...someone just forwarded this to me from a gaming list he's on.
http://www.atarashigames.com/whatispantyexplosion.html

is this work appropriate? based on the link it seems like termination grounds

the url is the only bad part. there are actually no images of exploding panties.


[2007-01-17 15:31:24] panty explosion seriously, that's what the game is called. it oddly does not seem to involve exploding panties
[2007-01-17 15:52:38] does it involve shots?

1/2 way thru the first month

So nothing, noteworthy, has happened recently to back up my theory that this year is out to get me. R says: Maybe it’s not us, maybe it just the people around us. And what, we’re just the axis?
Okay, maybe it isn’t us. Maybe those around us have pissed off Karma. And while I really do say (almost insist) that I am the center of everything: The world revolves around me*, maybe I’ll let this one thing go.

My mom is still trying to deal with her brother’s death: Stress manifesting as physical ailments, regrets and memories bubbling up for visitation, but no crying. My sister and I take turns calling her and just letting her babble on**. But I don’t know what to say. I’ve never lost a sibling or a parent. I’ve lost pets and friends, but that hole is smaller than what, I imagine, is left by losing someone after a lifetime. As for me, I suppose I haven’t grieved either. Maybe I just haven’t found the thing to grieve yet. His absence from my life was already established. He had already become a never aging man I knew in memory and then he just slipped away.



*Once I realized if I was responsible for everything that went wrong I decided that must mean I was responsible for everything that went right. I know, a little creepy in that “She thinks she’s a deity. She shall surly be struck down” kind of way, but I’m too much of a smart ass for any higher power to take it remotely serious. Right?

** This is a woman for whom a short conversation has always been at least an hour

First of many installations of filler

People I may look like
Or so I've been told




Marianne Faithfull
Drew Barrymore
A young Judy Garland







I'm not sure I see a similarity even in them

The Year in Review

1/1/07 My sister (visiting out of town) had a flat tire and locked her keys in the car.
Not just any ol’ flat tire, but the kind that comes from the belt WEARING THRU the rubbery tire part. She got 2 new tires just for good measure. I really thought an Army Supply Specialist would know to check those things, and uh, those things… they have 4 tires.

1/2/07 Receive notification our mortgage has been sold

1/3/07 My mother finds out her brother died. Someone sent her and EMAIL saying how sorry they were to hear and was he ill? She of course had NO IDEA since no one bothered to tell her when it happened… 2 days ago.

1/5/06 My (soon to be) brother in law loses his job.
“its supposed to be our Staff Holiday party here at the store [but everyone was gone], that just left Bob and I, so really, that's what I thought was up when he asked me if I wanted to go get a beer with him at 5 that afternoon. But after we sat down and ordered Black and Tans, he set me straight”…
Welcome to a small town and unemployment just when you find something you really like doing.

1/7/07 Injure my back discovering I have no proclivity for belly dancing

1/9/07 Realize there is no way I can make 100 elegant and crafty bead weavings to dress up wedding invitations (which I have yet to find and purchase) before they need to be sent out

Question of the Year

Why do people insist on New Years Resolutions?
Why is it if you do not make one you are just being an uncommitted chicken (or some such thing)? I’m sorry. I just don’t have one. I never made them but I did have plans.

What do I really want from this year might be a better question, and yet still one I couldn’t answer.

There seems to have been a time when I could plan my life out. When I was younger it was planned in benchmarks, 12 – 17 – 22, and for the most part by the time I arrived at those benchmarks I had about what I had expected.
Then it was “In the next 5 years I will…”
Now it seems I am at a loss.
Could it be that there are no goals left?
That seems impossible, and yet it seems there is a lack of destination.
I expect that I will maintain this job (in an unchanging manner) and continue to call it a career. In 30 years I expect to have my home paid off. I will do some traveling, I will gain and lose weight, I will start and quit projects and habits, everything will generally continue. There will be births and deaths around me. The world will turn and humanity will continue to grind it down. Life will be peppered with the unexpected I am prepared for and the unexpected I am not.

Maybe I’m at that “what’s left?” point.
What else do I need?

I never WAS terribly driven.