Tuesday, March 27, 2007

The 3 minute truth about Osh Kosh, Wisconsin

Male Order

Friday, March 23, 2007

How is it there is nothing in the news about the power outage that went from the lake to Rogers Park?

Monday, March 19, 2007

If it’s drowning you’re after, don’t torment yourself with shallow water.

Mere words do not feed the friars, so I cooked.

Every year I want corned beef and Irish whiskey but we fear the amateur Irish out on the town.
I think this was my first corned beef cooked strictly by myself. We invited something friends over for dinner and games. Jameson, Guinness, potatoes, parsley, horseradish, carrots, cabbage & 2 corned beef (since I was unsure of how many would show up) but only made one after giving myself a fantastic scalding within the 1st hour.
I seem to be scald prone. I'm okay with fire and ovens and knives but hot water appears to be my downfall.
First the Pho soup (requiring a boiling liquid to be served) and now a splash from pushing down a large beef in a nearly too small pot. I (reverting to my child hood for the first few seconds EVERY time I'm injured) jumped up and down doing a little "I'm hurt" dance and then proceeded to *strip. I got the socks and pants off in time but the long-sleeved thermal shirt I was wearing held the heat on my arm. So there I am, standing in the kitchen in my underwear running water over my arm, calling to R.
Do we have any burn ointment
At this point in out relationship he knows I am not making a random inquiry or shopping list.
He comes pattering in with a bunch of first aid supplies. Wha'dya do?
The first question usually asked and technically the dumbest, uh, burned myself but we all know the question is really HOW are you so stoopid?

So I cooled and chilled (and checked the rest of me for injury) and then had R make me a Jameson on the rocks. It may only be 10:00am but I need pain reliever and as my father later pointed out, Dublin had a head start and there was catchen up I'd be needen to do.

Everything turned out great anyway.
I had no complaints and no leftovers.

Good thing I got that other beef!


*Some day I will have a dinner party, splash myself with boiling water and either be the best hostess ever. Oooh, honey. Look an invitation to dinner at Perdita’s. I do so hope she’s making soup!
Or I maybe the most embarrassed coworker/in-law/spouse ever.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Joey, baby - don't get crazy

Growing apart seems to come in cycles. Elliptical as the orbit in the solar system. I wonder what it is that causes our dance in rotation twisting and drifting through all our degrees. Is it because we all have our own pulls, because we are the center of our own individual systems? We can weather disagreements, divorce, disillusionment and still come back to the closest point without completely breaking free. Distance, most often, is the deadly killer. Too far away and surrounded by too many new systems. I have learned this, learned to expect and accept it. Still there is a sadness in growing apart, usually unrealized until the shocking revelation that the orbits are broken.

Joey and I use to be roommates. Joey and I use to be vacation buddies. Joey and I use to be confidants. Joey and I were everything.

Yesterday I emailed him and jokingly asked if he was married yet.
He’s been married for a month.

"I know you've heard it all before
So I don't say it anymore"

Friday, March 02, 2007

How you... HACK, wheeze

R was sick last week and we thought I had escaped it with my healthy healthy self. I seem to be able to miss many of the illnesses he brings into the house. Not so this time, this week it was my turn.
I can actually pinpoint the moment it conquered me. It was during the Oscars. “I Need to Wake Up” from “An Inconvenient Truth” by Melissa Etheridge had just taken the Oscar for original song (and she totally deserved it) when my throat got very sore (blame the drainage) and letting straight whiskey slowly slide along the sore side was not working it’s usual magic. I knew it was the beginning of the end.
For the next 2 days I was feverish and oozing. I went through a box of tea (finally calling R to fetch home anything but more tea) and a box of tissue (NOT the aloe kind R had, nooooo he just got me the normal ones which I still remind him none to kindly about). Sleep was illusive. Waking up every 2 hours because I (R said) couldn’t breath, cold because my clothes were wet with sweat, or just because it had been a while and, apparently, I should be wide awake. When I could sleep the fever dreams were the best parts. I woke up delusional patting myself down because I was trying to figure out how to communicate with my body. Vivid vignettes of dreams that always seemed to end with a cold wind stealing my breath and me waking up, blowing my nose and snuggling my cold head back under the covers. I had a beautiful dream as a short story. Oh if only I could have captured it I’d be published right now. I remember at the time thinking I was amazed this was coming from me. Great plot that flowed, dialogue (which I can’t write), and that thing that draws you in and makes you want more. Arg if only we could capture our dreams.
Still sick I struggled into work Wednesday. #1 boss was worried about stuff falling through the cracks. I was right to go in. I’m beginning to wonder what they are going to do with me out for 2 weeks in August. I patched the leaks in the ship for a couple of hours and staggered back home. Thursday I came back for more, there was still so much to do. True some of it was my own fault. Last Friday I said, I’ll do that on Monday, and here it was Thursday and still undone.
Tussin on my desk, tea mixed with cranberry juice in my mug, cough drops in my drawer, tissue in my hand, and a glazed look on my face I struggled through another day. My boss called me with more holes in the ship and as he was talking to me asked if I was falling a sleep, if I had my head down on the desk right then. I told him no, as I wiped the drool off my desk, but told him he was talking to a zombie.
Of course Thursday night game night had to be postponed. Because, as R put it, I was still feverish and while he didn’t think I was infectious, he could not guarantee that I would not lick all the food.
Today it’s Friday. I do feel better. Although I woke up shirt soaked through with sweat last night, I don’t think I have a fever today. I still look like the undead version of myself and carry tissue around but less for the unexpected running and explosions and more for the forceful expulsions and productive cough (mmmm I’m so pretty). So I’ll give it a few hours and then when my boss finally comes in today, I’ll greet him with my pleasant gravel voice, smile at him with my cracking lips and glazed over eyes, cough on him and go home.

Are You Popular - Random's Cut

combining snippets of a 1948 US Government Health Film called - Are You Popular - and another decades old gem called - Co-Ed Secrets. Are You Popular is a How to film of dating do's and don'ts for teens - and Co-Ed Secrets is a creepy 1950's Frat House film.