Surprising News. The entire State waits for August 8th

Who knew our getting married was such a big deal.
End of the world, sure but grinding the State of Illinois to a halt?

State Comptroller Dan Hynes pledge both to keep state offices from closing and to pass a budget by Aug. 8. That is when his office must begin the process.
Funny, that’s when we begin the process TOO!

The Call of Cthulhu (2005) … not wedding related

A movie review

What a wonderfully unexpected indie movie.
Its black and white. Its subtitled. Wait, oh my god its SILENT.
Fantastic cinematography, surprisingly good cardboard sets, delightfully bad props and miniatures not to mention Cthulhu's stop-motion animation.
The actors with limited range were perfectly charming for this retro adaptation of Lovecraft’s horror story. I believe they quite correctly recreated the acting, makeup, writing and technical situation of a 20s movie.

“Burn them. Burn them all”
A “young” man’s uncle tells him from his death bed. .
Riiiight. That’s what always happens. The Pandora’s box unlocked, the young man progresses from curious to having nightmarish visions driving him to resistant obsession as, we follow the stories in the box that show us his uncle believed there was a secret cult in existence who practiced human sacrifice and evil rituals in the name of heretofore undiscovered gods and monsters. Just you wait till the stars align and they rise and rule again.

I was delighted. You really have to see it to believe it.

Notes to make the bride cry

See you in a few weeks. Don't stress about the wedding so much, Perd.
It's the things that go wrong that are remembered the longest anyway!

Tomorrow is 2 weeks out.

I am anxious.
It might help if everyone I meet would stop asking if I’m nervous. Nervous. Should I be? Are one or both of us going to bolt? But considering how much is still in the “unknown” category I think anxious is appropriate.

We got our license last Friday (involving a trip to the county where we will be blissfully wed) and to meet up with my matron of honor so she could practice my hair do. We made a quick stop by the homestead where the wedding will take place and were told that we would receive “a few more names to invite”. For someone who was afraid we would have too many guests (and so we paired our list down) the last minute addition of 12 more (added to their previous list) of their friends was a bit over the top.
Still, for the most part it was relaxing. It consisted of a day and a half by the pool swimming and trying to get our “base” on and my matron of honor threatening to kick my maid of honors ass because my dress wasn’t done. I defended her, while trying to control my own panic, and then wondered how that was any different than her not having time to do my hair. I left still wondering what it will look like.

I have no idea what will be served at the wedding, I don’t know what time to tell the photographer to show up for a candid shot of my hair getting done, 2 hours ahead of show time for pictures is NOT going to work for the mother of the homestead, and I think R. is going to take this opportunity of free legal name change (marriage licenses can do that) to add a title and change his middle name to “Optimist Prime”.

Oh, and my shoes are STILL not here.

I'll Be Hard To Handle

Now we'll say till something do us part
That old dad of mine ain't got a heart
Any girl who's out for pleasure
Thinks of marriage only at her leisure
As it is, they've got the horse behind the cart

When my pop said we must wed,
He kind of wowed me, still I'm read-y
But one thing must be clear
At this time

I'll be hard to handle
I promise you that
And if you complain
Here's one little Jane
Who'll leave you flat

I'll be hard to handle
What else can I be
I say with a shrug
I think you're a mug
To marry me

When you first threw me a gander
I was willing to philander
But I never thought I'd have to be a bride
Now you're gonna find tough sledding
I don't want no shotgun wedding
I was only along for the ride

I'll be hard to handle
I'm telling you plain
Just be a dear
and scram out of here
I'm gonna raise cain

I'll be hard to handle
My bridges are burned
This wedding's a gag
And you're in the bag
Where I'm concerned

I'll be hard to handle
When we've said, "I do"
See there's no hope
I just got a dope
When I took you

I'll be living my life in bed
But they always will be twin beds
And I warn you, you'll be living like a monk
Our affair is now a past one
So don't think you've pulled a fast one
Just remember, I think you're a punk!

I'll be hard to handle
I'm no ball and chain
I'll find some means
To call the Marines
I'm gonna raise cain

Gonna raise cain
I'm telling you plain
I'm gonna raise cain

~I'll Be Hard To Handle
Ginger Rogers.

Buddha broke my toe

That’s it! I am calling for an injunction.
NO OTHER HUGE LIFE CHANGES!
(you got that higher power/gypsy curse)

R is struggling with when to tell his current job he is leaving them. He wants to do it before all the wedding mishagosh. My opinion is they will take the 2 weeks he would be giving them prior to his requested time off and tell him to take a hike without pay for his 2 weeks vacation (since it would be after his official last 2 weeks). I also feel he should wait till he has a letter of offer before he does anything.

Dress is finally being made, and will be done provided my sister doesn’t have another car accident, that she can pull her attention away from MY car repairs (a car which will be going to her man), and she can calm down enough from him talking about them moving in together.

My flowers will apparently have “wax” baby’s breath since I didn’t ask for baby’s breath and when offered I said, “No, it’s poisonous to cats”. Still we are talking about it, so I guess it will be there.

And I broke my toe on the Buddha that’s always meditating in the dining room doorway.

but on the upside R's job change means we can take the bus together in the morning (how cute is that?).

Illinois Marriage License Information, Laws, Requirements

Miscellaneous Questions

Are proxy marriages legal?

No, marriage by proxy is not allowed.

Are cousin marriages legal?

Yes, cousin marriages are allowed. Cousins may marry as long as both are over the age of 50.

Are common law marriages legal?

No, common-law marriages are not allowed.

Are same sex marriages legal?

No, same-sex marriages are not allowed.

Is there a waiting period from the date the license is issued to the date I am allowed to marry?

Yes, there is a mandatory 1 day waiting period.

28 Days

… From now

Hopefully, there will not be zombies. But should that be the case, we will at least be near our chosen fortress for the zombie apocalypse.
28 days from now this will mostly be over. There will (mostly) be nothing else we can do. In 28 days we will be married and past the point of planning, or caring.

It is all about the little stuff now. The final invitations, with little RSVP cards, went out. I verified we WILL have a photographer for the wedding. Over the weekend we got R’s suit, tie, shoes, and ring. Yesterday we went in search of island attire for him. Then he suggested we actually book a honeymoon. Another thing I’m tired of thinking about. We have moved from riding the rail in Europe (2 $ to 1 € made that QUITE improbable), elegantly roughing it in a rainforest (requiring too much organization to plan), finally settling on a “Package” that required less thought and organization but more money and sunscreen (also they promised me there would be no children). So that’s done now. We didn’t actually plan a budget for the honeymoon, its all wedding/receptionS. That made fudging the numbers a little easier. Maybe the receptionS will be cheaper than we thought. Maybe we’ll get enough dead presidents to ease the burden. Maybe we’ll have to raid the property tax account.
It’s done. That is the important thing.

What’s left?
My dress has not been started. My shoes have not arrived. Flowers have not been ordered. My hairstyle has not been thought of. We don't have a hotel booked for after* the wedding. No one really knows what the “wedding” plan is except (I HOPE) for R’s dad and step mom.
I’m sure I’m forgetting things. As I said it’s the small stuff that falls through the cracks. The devil is in the detail. I can vouch that a wedding is nothing but detail.


*R and I stay at our respective parents houses whenever we are in town. We believe they will expect this behavior to continue after the wedding. I think our wedding night MIGHT be asking too much.

Things I Have Learned From Living in southern Illinois .....

Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

There are 5,000 types of snakes on earth and 4,998 live in Southern Illinois .

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Southern Illinois plus a couple no one's seen before.

If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.

Onced and Twiced are words.

Catty-cornered means diagonally across the road from you.

It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy.

Houses have "Windas", never has a window been seen South of I-70

People actually grow and eat okra.

Fixinto" is one word means you are planning to do it.

There is no such thing as "lunch" There is only breakfast, dinner and then there is supper.

Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two.

Backards and forwards means "I know everything about you."

DJeet? is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"

You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is.

You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.

You know the distance between stops on "The Wine Trail".

You measure distance in minutes.

You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

Fix" is a verb Example: "I'm fixing to go to the store."

All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

You know what a "DAWG" is: a Saluki!!!!!

You carry jumper cables in your car . . . for your OWN car.

There are only four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup.

The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.

The first day of deer season is a national holiday.

100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm." We have four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and Christmas.

Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as "goin' to "Wally World."

A cool snap (below 70 degrees) is good pinto-bean weather.

Fried catfish is the other white meat.

We don't need no stinking driver's ed . . . if our mama says we can drive, we can drive.


EVERYONE can't be a Southern Illinoisan ; it takes talent. You might say it's an art form or a gift from God!

Whats New?

Dear Building Maintenance:
Have you noticed the foul smell coming up from the brackish water that is covering the back walkway and running down the storage space steps? I don’t believe this is left over water from last weeks flood.
~p


Dear Building Homeowners:

If you have gone out your back door today, you noticed some plastic piping running the length of the sidewalk behind the building. This is a temporary remedy for a blocked sewer line that was discovered today. It is the line that extends from the L-tier to the street. Stan was unable to get it unclogged today, and thinks it is either blocked with tree roots or perhaps (worst case) has collapsed. Until the line can be reopened, the sewage from the l-tier will be pumped through the pipe along the back of the building into the K-tier catch basin, where it can then run out to the street through the K-tier sewer line, which is clear.

Please be careful when walking along the back sidewalk, especially at night. We hope to be able to clear the line without needing to dig up the front lawn and/or front sidewalk.

Feel free to contact us if you have any questions.


Dear Building Maintenance:
When will it be safe to walk out the back door again? Will you power wash the “shit”?
~p


Dear Building Homeowners:

Stan was able to get the L-tier drain unclogged yesterday morning (7/4) with the assistance of two of his friends with plumbing equipment. One came with a high-powered drain rodding machine, and another came with a camera which was inserted into the drain once it was cleared so they could see if there was a break in the line that needed to be repaired. What they found was that the clog occurred at a location where the pipe has been penetrated by an electrical line; apparently by the City when they installed the new street lights a couple of years ago.

We are pursuing the issue with the City, including compensation for the expenses Stan incurred (for which the Association will reimburse him). The sidewalk will need to be torn up and the section of sewer pipe replaced (and electrical line relocated). We have also asked that the city inspect the parallel line that serves the K-tier, in case it was similarly penetrated but hasn’t completely clogged yet.

I KNEW IT!

Finally, proof of what I've been saying for years.

So Science is finally behind me on children. They ARE evil. The wormy little beings live for deception. "Until now, psychologists had thought the developing brains were not capable of the difficult art of lying until four years old".
Puleeze. Their little lecherous lives are all about them and how they can keep manipulating everything so it remains about them.
Thank goodness science was able to distinguish seven categories of deception used between six months and three-years-old. Ohhh, that's just all they LET you find. I think the theory here is that we learn to lie, and we learn what it can get us and what the ramifications will be.
Fake crying falls into one of those 7 categories somewhere. The article used it as an example "It demonstrates they're clearly able to distinguish that what they are doing will have an effect. This is essentially all adults do when they tell lies, except in adults it becomes more morally loaded."
Morally Loaded? What does that even mean? Is it implying when we are older the loaded moral point us directly toward a particular moral conclusion or attitude. So a lie is not a lie, and deception is not deception if you are a baby?


So when the bimbet is crying at the bar and looks long ways at the rich guy next to her to see if it's working she's just reverting to her earliest learning, and has not loaded the moral pointing at her.


Kudos, Dr Vasudevi Reddy, of the University of Portsmouth!

Wedding, what wedding?

From: Wedding supply store
To: People ordering actual invitations

Wedding supply store called to check on the order because we "didn't put a location name"

I told them "My Dad's Backyard" probably wasn't formal enough - just leave it blank.

Veggie Booty Recalled

The End is Nigh
Turn back from your Booty eating ways.

~FDA Reports 52 Cases of Salmonella Illness from Eating Veggie Booty Snacks.