I can no longer stand lectures by naked emperors about the best way to dress

Come on people (government, bloggers, purveyors of news) put some clothes on or shut up. But stop being so oblivious.

Well that kinda goes for me too. I just get tired of having to let things slide. I have to NOT get into debates with persons whose opinions are different from mine. Because first of all they are actually arguments and second of all I don't know everything about: politics, religion, stem cell, culture, EVERYTHING. I don't have the answers to everything, thought I am well educated and well read (breaking arm patting self on the back).

But I so want to say something. Why can't I just throw out un-researched bullshit like so many others? Why do I feel compelled to keep my mouth shut/fingers still unless they have made some obvious misstatement? Is it so I look less naked than the idiot who has captured my interest?

Why did I just waist my time saying nothing and speaking in circles?


Well so you dont feel gypped...

You know James K. Polk: "...Our eleventh pres-a-dent"?
They Might Be Giants
Perhaps one of the reasons he was (is) so widely unknown is because he was virtually elected by the first (organized) mob boss in New York, Captain Isaiah Rynders. Of course the presidency was delivered by voter fraud. What else would you expect?
You've been educated.

And so you feel entertained...
Check out the "inches on the reel-to-reel" link.
This weeks flavor is ever so tasty

Ooooh look at me, all full of Charity

Charity 93%
Fortitude 82%
Justice 75%
Prudence 75%
Temperance 57%
Hope 54%
Faith 39%

475% Now thats just plain unrealistic

The Seven Heavenly Virtues
created with QuizFarm.com

Her skirt clings to her like a lover
tightly clutching at the apex of passion
slipping against her thighs with the rythem of movement
soft and swishing in the rapid movement of her stride riding the waves of muscled flesh.
I hurry thru the crowd having lost my pace
in the reverie of beauty and motion.
I wonder how she escaped me in shoes that are less shoe
and more spikes screwed into her heels with snakes serpentineing about her toes.

We fold in like cards in an amateur's shuffle
some ignoring the alternate order emptying one hand quicker
thru the door before being trapped
back in line waiting for the elevator to cut the deck.

I think that officially makes me the dumbest person in the office

I was expecting an important call, but the CEO, Pres and SR VP wanted to meet with me in my office.
I was on a roll. Waxing profound and discussing how I thought the project should be presented. The phone rang and I turned to the CEO (who knew I was expecting the call) and said, excuse me, flung my hair to the side in that oh so sexy, yet professional, way so it wasn't between my ear and the important call. Picked up the phone and smacked myself in the eye with the receiver.

I think I'’m getting a black eye



ps I have decided to add a flavor of the second
see ...either shut up or get cut up, they don't wanna hear about it "it's only inches on the reel-to-reel"

the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didnt exist

...and like that...poof...he's gone

This will only be here for a few days lest some who knows me actually stumble onto this site.
But I just needed to vent
and feel lucky

Once my best friend sagely said, "He's a wife beater"
That was before I left him, maybe even when I thought I was still in love (or at least in contentment). She would know a wife beater. She had history with it. I stood by her, supported her, picked her up, held her, until I could take no more and told her to tell me how it ended. But that’s what it took at 19 to break the cycle. She finally broke free. I did too before I knew she was right. Oh sure EPOD (Self titled the evil prince of darkness) had a few stand offs, but they were like "Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf" Stand offs. He couldn’t control me and he knew it. His parents couldn’t control me either (much to their disappointment) I was too oblivious and stubborn to be manipulated. Our 5th Christmas together the father presents mother and daughter with expensive (but gaudy) jewelry and turns to me saying “ You only get the good gifts once you’ve married in”. All I could think was Your trying to buy your son a wife? with ugly jewelry?

I once explained to EPOD, due to the way I was raised and the neighborhood I grew up in, that once there was confrontation that my adrenalin could not be stopped.
Long story short...Mean Bad Ass when feeling cornered
We fronted a few times and I warned him every time, and he backed down.
It’s not that EPOD was mean. He was just very in control. He bottled everything up. He didn’t deal with emotions and would sometimes explode or break down.

I left him
he got over it quickly
Less than year later here was this email

Perdita- I do not feel bad about the distance between us. The only person who wanted to label me as someone who could not be friends with an ex was you. Over the past year I have realized that your opinion is not important to me. You use that excuse to manipulate me and that will not work anymore. I have found happiness with The Help and we will be married October 11th. I have a wonderful life with her and her daughter and look forward to my future with them and our own children. Your wish of happiness is nice but really not needed. We have all the happiness we need. The Help fits in with my family very well as her and my sister have been friends for eight years and her and my mom for almost as long. She cares about the people that are important to me and everything that is important to me. Not to be rude but you are not one of those people anymore and that is something I should have told you on June 15th when you showed up at my house and The Help was there. Any doubts or "petty thoughts" you have about my happiness or relationship are totally unneeded. As far as us being very good friends not very long ago, I do not think that is true. You kept me in your life as a crutch and it is time for you to move on. You did give up on us and that is something you have to live with, not I. You actually did me a favor. I have truly found happiness for the first time in my life. Have a great life and I do not feel future communication is necessary. In a month I will be someone's husband and I KNOW that you will respect that.

Always meaning what I say, EPOD and The Help

Sorry but I don't have the email I set him. Only that it was I wish I had heard it from him and it would be easer to know he was happy if I had heard it from him, but I did as always wish him (them) happiness. That was like 3 years ago.
Tonight I found out he crossed the line. He pushed the love of his life down on the asphalt. I know, I know. And if it had been an accident then...God who hasn't been there. But they were fighting and, well, I've been there before too. Facing that very man.
They had been fighting and he left. She tracked her husband down at 4am. Found him staying at a friends house. Her friend had driven her. The argument continued and he exploded. If it had been me and one of my friends (sisters) his ass wouldn't have gone into work the next day from shame and bruises. No friend of mine would have let him push me around. No friend of mine would have let him get that wound up and aggressive. I am notorious for carrying a small aluminum Easton bat when I have accompanied my sisters back to get their things from a bad situation. Its permanent place is next to the drivers side door in my car. It’s from back in the days of my solo cross country travels. I’m not saying she couldn’t handle her husband…I’m just saying I would have been between them in a flash, Easton in hand, and warned him not to touch her again.

Sex

Yup, it has come down to the lowest common denominator. You know it. I know it. Everybody knows it.
We're talking about sex.

I don't know why but it seem determined to be put foremost in my mind. Everywhere I look, there it is.
from the sex bunny from Friday (which I am re-posted because I was told not everyone could *get at it) to this which has made my new favorite saying ...do me a favour under a thick hedge.
*get at it, get on it, get to it...they all sound vaguely sexual


Why is it on my mind so much, and why is it everywhere?
Google Sex Sells and you'll find everything from a book called Sex Sells to finding out that the internet will become x-rated friendly. Soon these sites can have a ".xxx" domain. Protect the kids blah, blah, blah...but hey good news is no longer will we be ripped off by some misleading site. If it's xxx it had better be triple X. I mean can you imagine how pissed off someone is right now with my site? Just look at all the search combos I've got going here that are NOT paying off. Just for fun... lets add a few more shall we?
Young hot open naked celebrities photos
hahahahahaha
Now there is some one out there I should be afraid of....except they are too busy being disgusted by the lack of disgusting-ness on my site that they aren't ever reading this but flipping to the next thing google gave them. But I'm an amateur. There are actually people who do stuff exactly like this. All you have to do (if you are a hit whore) is find out what people are looking up his week and throw the right combination in.

Butt back to sex ;)

You can find it in anything, projected or real. I can't resist linking this article from Lip Balm Anonymous. I know, I know. I know what you're thinking "its not a real addiction". Well, OCD, addiction, whatever. Anything like that you've had to face, is the worst thing you've had to face. I'm not laughing. For you it's lip balm, okay fine.
But the Coppertone denouncement?
"...Look at this stuff. You can't help but notice the famous image of the little girl with her behind showing. That would be bad enough, but look at the rest of the packaging. What are all those cherries doing there? A subtle message regarding the chaste status of the little girl? And what about the name itself. Little Licks? Are they saying that little girls will actually lick the balm? Or are they implying the girl will be licking something else?"
Sorry, but at that, I did laugh. I have had sex on the brain but wouldn't have come away with that. I mean I can see where the LBA (Lip Balm Anonymous) group would be upset they are trying to get kids...I mean people, (because kids so young they have to use coppertone lip balm instead of kissing quenchers or some such "product" are obviously purchasing this themselves) to use this just to lick it off, encouraging this not only in the name but also in the flavoring...THUS BEGINNING THE CYCLE.... (that was my big scary voice),but I don't think I get the sexual over tones. I just can't seem to project it there. And I've been projecting it everywhere.
R and I have been playing a video game called Dynasty Warriors. Its the newest one (I think in 3). We liked the others and wish they had left the un-dubbed voices in. The english voices make this the gayest china ever. Its easy to make something stupid they say into something else. Besides they are soooo intouch with their feelings for warriors. But with video games it is easy to go there. Especially since the whole GTA thing. Oh, for non-gamer geeks, that's Grand Theft Auto. And did you know that naked Sims can be un-blurred? I didn't till recently. And it wasn't as vague and nondescript as I thought it would be. There are even some adult sites (yes, I mean porn sites) with cheats that tell you how to accomplish this. PORN SITES...This is not porn. Was Leisure Suit Larry porn? Whoa, did I date myself? Does anyone even know what I'm talking about? I didn't play it....Seriously...Was it porn? I'm just asking. I did play some strip poker type things...they were lame.

Good Lord
I have ranted all over the place and still have not come to the crux of my issue.
But then, I am too distracted by sex to even finish this post.......


edited to add:
Ahhhhrrrgggg. There is no escape. Now my iPod wants to talk dirty to me.

I give up....it IS all about sex and it's not just in my head!

Heat advisory

The city has a new system that calls the elderly and
infirmed to make sure they are okay. They should have
installed one that calls their friends and family to
let people know they are okay. I guess if you are okay
you're supposed to call them yourself.
But what about those inconsiderate and lazy people, like me?

Yesterday was 104 (without heat index). The mud-room felt like an oven. The outside air was moisture sucking dry. Plants were wilted by 11am. Yesterday was a day the 8 fans could not save us. Fortunately R has been sick for a month. Aside from
the worry that his swollen lymph nodes were carrying the plague (as his co-workers put it) it did turn out to be a blessing.
He has developed VERY bad allergies. This summer hasn't been kind with the dozen or so days we have had environmental and ozone warnings. I can't imagine what people in California and Detroit deal with.
His Dr. said an AC unit might help. We installed it just in time if you ask me.

Just so you know...we are *alive and will hide in the house till the city decides to change it's idea of summer...I think here, they call that winter.

*My plants on the other hand, we will have to wait and see.

Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before

I will post later.
But in the mean time it's friday and I've done the morning (web) crawl all day.

Here is what you've been missing:
Even the cute little bunny complains that everyone has had more sex than him

perhaps even Jared Fogle the Subway guy

yikes! This has got to be the worst assignment in the history of the world

I am in the top 1.72% richest people in the world.
There are 5,896,521,739 people poorer than me.
and yet I still feel poor

Someone needs some help. Or a hug



Your inner soul is very mellow. You're very laid
back and pretty much enjoy life! You're quite
an average person, you enjoy hanging out with
your friends, but also making sure you're doing
alright in school. You love to have fun and
laugh, but you're also quiet at times and just
like to soak in the pleasurement of simple
things. You have a pretty good life going on
and wouldn't trade it for anything else :)


What Is Your Inner Soul Trying To Say?
My inner soul is saying...did a 14 year old write this quiz? brought to you by Quizilla


hee, hee, hee and this Japan Tobacco "Smoking Manners"

Mind Binge

These are the lines on your face
When you fall asleep on your sleeve
Not noticing where your head lay
(no one is likely to if you don’t)
As your last thought buzzed white
And everything went numb
Because your mind ran so much slower
(under the influence or not)
in the throws of a withdrawal
that never stops, but for sleep
putting these lines on your face

Paranoia (and stupid people) abound

Looking down from my window I can see them now. I didn't before I went down for a much needed smoke break.
I've spend all morning arguing with someone over in the UK about a shipment and customs fees. I was so wrapped up in it all I didn't send my sympathies for yet another stressful day over there. Besides what do you say. We interrupt this business related tirade to offer milk-toast sympathies for something that didn't probably effect you personally
So I am frustrated and I have neglected all the other work piling up around me. What's another 5 min for a cigarette?
The oppressiveness of the on coming thunderstorm (that will undoubtedly miss us and our desperately thirsty ground) smacks me in the face and hugs my body as I step outside where it is muggy and loud.
I can barely hear the click of the zippo. I look down the street. I'm use to the occasional noise, being in a large metropolitan area across the street from the firehouse, but this is deafening. And who are all those people?
I walk down to the corner of the building: Ambulance, fire truck, rescue vehicle, 8 cop cars, lots of yellow tape. From the Fire house all around the park next to it. Maybe it's an accident at the corner. Nope traffic is still going around the corner, just not down this street. Maybe they are filming. It would explain all the people standing around watching, they do that a-lot here. But I just don't see anything, and while I could postulate all day I've almost finished my cigarette and only brought the one down.
A little calmer now I head back in to the cool building and say hi to the security guard. He likes to chit-chat and today he informs me the commotion is all about an unidentified package that was found. I feel slightly colder for a brief moment, thinking how I had wandered towards that direction, but it passes as my rationality (or denial) always tells me it was just a mislaid box or bag.
I return to my desk thinking about how all those people down there are stupid. Assuming, of course, that they knew what was going on. What was it that transfixed them? Why would they put themselves in harms way? Did they want to die? Or did they just want to be there, to be the ones screaming "Oh-My-GOD" when the: Car, truck, fireman / cop, or package went Ka-Boom. The ones wandering around in shock that camera crews could interview "I was just on my way to... when I hear this loud bang and see debris flying everywhere. We all started running for our lives (once we saw the film crew)" Movement always makes for better footage.

I get back on the phone with my problem in the UK. We're both a little cooler. While he is pulling up data I tell him about the unidentified package. He jokes that maybe that's where the shipment is. We both laugh a little and then start talking about London, this morning, and the paranoia of people. Not irrational fear. There are reasons to be afraid. But somehow it does seem to make people a little stupider. Neither of us know why. But we have reassured each other that we are not alone. That we are all aware of what is going on, and that we have support all over the world.
And we managed to find the shipment

Too busy to post

In the past week I have Read:
Geeks by Jon Katz
Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs
Diary (a Novel) by Chuck Palahniuk

Now the rain is coming down like we should have built that damn ark thing when God told us to. I hope some fell in my yard.
But people expect me to work, so I must away.


edited to add:



She, who I visited last weekend, and her troupe had a gig with Louis Black, but he canceled. I told her she just went up in my esteem. When she said he had canceled I said, but he booked with you. I believe that's close enough to fame for me.

The Dearstalkers

Preface: My mother is a 61 year old farm girl. Ursa is one of her dogs: all muscle, and diagnosed with cancer which my mother decided against treatment for. She wants her to have a quality of life that pills and radiation would not allow.
What do dogs know of "it's for your own good"

This email from her was too good not to post

The Dearstalkers
The dogs and I have returned from our run. This morning, it was a run. The crews were oiling the roads between me and the park so I took the dogs [Ursa and Mika] to the cemetery. I didn't want my shoulder jerked around so I tied the leashes together and let them run for a while. The idea was that, when they'd tired a bit, they wouldn't be pulling so hard. We'd walked to the back of the cemetery [my pedometer said 8 steps] when I saw a rabbit. I told the girls about the bunny but it was gone before they could see and decide on a chase. They saw the next one and were on the chase. I whistled and called them back to me and was within feet of grabbing the leashes when, suddenly, a doe came from behind them and all three were off. As they did a "bread and butter" trick around a permanent vase, Mika was suddenly jerked off her feet. Ursa sped on, hardly missing a step and Mika (dragged around the monument, lept back to her feet and) pounded after her. I hurried to the top of the rise, commanding their presence but they didn't even break stride.

I don't know how the chase ended. I only know that the dogs, finally, returned. Once again, I almost had hold of the leashes [Mika's broken and very short, now] when the doe shot across the field and the dogs were off again. I chased the action, yelling commands and was ignored by all. I was so mad I was cursing at them. "Damn you get back here!" As it echoed from one hill to the other, I hoped there wasn't anyone being laid to rest. At last the dogs returned. They had, apparently, been outrun again. This time, I got hold of the leashes, knotted Mika's and walked them [or did they drag me?] back to the car. The water dish was on the deck and Ursa nosed it with interest. I got the water and brought it to the deck where Ursa drank her fill and, true to her own likes, Mika would have none. When I saw the doe watching us, I dumped the water and closed the hatch. As I drove toward her, the doe loped across the road before me. Then, she stopped and looked back at us. She repeated this behavior twice more. As we left her, she seemed disappointed that she'd lost her playmates and I wondered if she exercises a lot of dogs.

The dogs have been out and fed and out again and Ursa has come to lie beside me. When she decided to nuzzle for a petting, her collar fell off. As I put it back together, I noticed that the rings on the ends of the chain were flattened. While I, holding the ring with pliers, pounded the rings into their previous circular shapes, all I could think was, "Oh, my aching neck!" Imagine the impact on those little doggie necks when they broke the leash and reshaped those steel rings! And, after that, they were able to drag me to the car.

"wiener Dogs in da Pool"

My weekend consisted of R and I hanging out with my best friend of 16 years and her family.
They have a pool, and there were two wiener dogs
2 days of that and I am so sunburned.
Advisory. Sunburn=no bra and loose shirt, No bra+ light weight shirt + band aids = Confused looks & square nipple comments

Quotes of the weekend:

When you use the Mickey Mouse Bathroom...are you supposed to wear the mouseka-ears that are in there?

Yeah I pooped outdoors once, but it was okay I had the paper bag from the 40 to wipe with.

That could be the title of your autobiography

your dog is *humping his mouth......
He's just tired.

You know your one of the family when the Col. gives you an M1, I suppose if you hadn't drunk till 4 got up at 6 and gone shooting you might have hit something....
I got a bulls eye.
Yeah but everyone you went with made it back

Your dog just mounted Willie
He's just playing
No, THAT was a prison shower scene and Owen told him to pick up the soap


*I've see it all now. this was not the ordinary dog licks self, etc. this dog folded himself in 2 and both ends would begin to bounce. Ergo: Humping his mouth.

I did it all for the cookie

Yeah, the cookie!
I love those little folded golden brown things. Perfect with the hot tea to finish up a meal I just had boxed up because I will eat the rest probably as soon as I get home. But these perfect after dinner delicacies also come with a bit of wisdom. Perfect for starting inane closing up dinner conversations ending fortunes with ...and then you die (though most prefer "in bed"?).
My sister collects the things. She has so many fortunes that I have often thought it would make for an awesome and confusing ticker-tape parade. I have even kept 2 in my wallet for years.
You will always get what you want through your charm and personality
and
Cleverness is serviceable for everything, sufficient for nothing.
I once demanded another cookie from the waiter. I was so disappointed with the fortune I got, and really I wanted another cookie for later. I told the waiter I wanted a new fortune, he laughed and went to get me another. Later that night when I opened it I discovered it was empty. So I now am convinced that they had a box full of cookies marked "for complainers of fortune". Recently relaying this story to Chinese friend I was also informed receiving no fortune in you cookie is very bad luck...and then you die.


Star Wars Geek gets up in cookies grill and resents lecture from a bite-sized confection

cookie proves false

Even people who think in ten-word sentences get writers block

Top 5 stupid things I got away with togay (oops "today")

1. Sent myself an email in response to a question posed by someone else...could not figure out why they responded with the exact thing I wrote.
2. Wondered what was so special about this horse drawn carriage that it was being followed by and ambulance with it's lights on.
3. Saw Suit and Tie guys running down the street thought "Now those are some well dressed Bank robbers" for a split second
4. Posted a congratulations on this site before I found out if it was a joyous occasion
5. Entered ALL figures in a spread sheet as millions (received raise)

Martinis with a Redwood Tree

Roots upturned, crossed knees form a lap. Poison oak brushed to the side and bees buzzing freely. Swinging vines and mossed horizontal saplings never grown old in the straining sun. Another tree leans allowing glowing penetration to fall to the floor as distant mouths and winds howl.
The waters uninterpretable secret is repeated, lest forgotten, unbroken over and over. Over rocks and shelves, beneath natural bridges. Over falls and under caves, absentmindedly rolling a small turtle like an olive from glass to mouth.

Computer geeks and bloggers mad at science for revealing the secret of stopping time

Time Compression

Oh yes, and some toilet humor

Reasons I want to be in charge of the terror alert

Navy causes loss of perishable cargo of cod and sole for a Cold War era communications device

Federal agents take over investigation of 1983 Chevrolet Camaro with homemade explosive device Com'on It's a camaro

Suicide Bombers agree, 4 yr. old is Hard Core

Around the world:
Flying at 30,000 feet, 234 passengers, way off course, just to take a picture of your friend -- what could possibly go wrong?

Barcelona president does striptease in airport

Maybe Japan has got it right


I really think we should look into these:
Armed bandits in Brazil stole more than 400 breast

And finally:
Press re-grows backbone and asks (like dog with bone) "did Karl Rove commit a crime"

Tidbits of History. Who Knew?

World War II provided a big impetus for the development of San Francisco's gay community. One and a half million soldiers, 10%+ of which were homosexual, were able to find each other more easily in the marginal districts of San Francisco. Thousands were discharged by the military for homosexuality and were released in San Francisco. Rather than returning to the hinterlands in which they would be stigmatized, many stayed on and after the war they were joined by thousands more who had discovered new identities in the crucible of war.

Born today: Eastman, George (1854-1932), American inventor and philanthropist, who played a leading role in transforming photography from an expensive hobby of a few devotees into a relatively inexpensive and immensely popular pastime. He was born in Waterville, New York, and was self-educated. In 1884 Eastman patented the first film in roll form to prove practicable; in 1888 he perfected the Kodak camera, the first camera designed specifically for roll film. In 1892 he established the Eastman Kodak Company

Duchess of Argyll and headless (or not so headless) men

Admission:
Yesterday I watched Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger: aptly names because the man he is trying to save has been turned into a Baboon (????). Well to say I watched it is an overstatement as I rarely really watch anything fully and completely, so I might have missed where the tiger eye came into play. What I didn't miss in this 1977 movie shot with stop motion and creatures by*Ray Harryhausen (pictured here with his wife) was Sinbad played by Patrick Wayne (That's John Wayne's kid) and Jane Seymour (in tiny cornrow patches of braids)


* In Looking for appropriate pictures for Ray, I found this tribute

Yikes!

SANTA BARBARA, Calif. –
The owners of the other contestants in this year's World's Ugliest Dog Contest may have thought their pooches had a chance - until they saw Sam.
The 14-year-old pedigreed Chinese crested recently won the Sonoma-Marin Fair contest for the third consecutive time, and it's no surprise.
The tiny dog has no hair, if you don't count the yellowish-white tuft erupting from his head. His wrinkled brown skin is covered with splotches, a line of warts marches down his snout, his blind eyes are an alien, milky white and a fleshy flap of skin hangs from his withered neck. The teeth
jut out at odd angles from his mouth. He's so ugly the judges recoiled when he was placed on the judging table,
said his proud owner, Susie Lockheed, of Santa Barbara.
"People are always horrified when I kiss him. He may turn into a prince
yet. He's definitely a toad," she said. "I always thought he'd be great on
greeting cards or on a commercial for Rogaine."

What disease did cured ham actually have?

Anyone?

maybe the ham saw the error of it's ways
I flunked. But there is freshness and hope!


Speaking of freshness and hope....


So remember how I'm *cough* working out? Well I did today with some suprising results.
What? What is this? I swear when I left the house this morning I had one.

Yup, that's me today. You can call me Capitan No Bra.
It's actually quite sad. I was excited all this week about bras too. I went to Victoria's Secret this week and bought 3 because I've gone up a cup size (no-more training bras for me). And today I'm, well I'm, underneath my clothes I'm naked.
Hmmm sounds as risquà as it feels.
I know, what's the big deal. I bet a lot of women go bra less but I was raised...Amish. Would you buy Quaker? How about Puritan? Besides why would you go bra less if you had 3 new expensive bras? And that's the other thing. I can't bring myself to go buy one. I JUST bought 3. I can't afford another. But what happened to the bra? Was I mistaken about wearing one this morning? Has my brain truely turned into mashed potatos? Did I forget taking it off and waving it out the window of the bus? Did I run into Penn and Teller? Did someone pick the lock on my locker and just take the bra, and what would motivate that? Was my underwear being coveted by the young lady changing next to me (who was way to big for that tiny slingshot of a thing)? Or did someone find themselves at the gym, pre-board meeting, and realize they left their bra on the floor of the Taxi last night?
I don't know. All I know is...
It's cold in here.

You need something lighter for today?

THIS GOT NOT NEARLY ENOUGH PRESS

7/7/5

From London, to the news-waves, to the streets.

I don't know how things are where you are but there are an unusual number of Helicopters hovering down town (low considering the buildings). If I were on the 47th floor, he'd be looking in my window. And there are more street cops than usual, in front of buildings, on corners, down in the L.
But it doesn't register. I've walked by Horses in riot gear before not knowing anything was going on.
Until I see some horses in riot gear I can't get too worked up.
I just want to say it one more time...
HORSES IN RIOT GEAR
I think it's good we're on alert, but even the blokes in London have said, if it's my time- it's my time, but I've got to get into work in the mean time.

but then I don't have post traumatic stress disorder.

How are you?

Cheating because I can

Right now I'm too busy working and sneaking News information so I don't have time to post.
But these are some of my recent favorite things.
I mean incase you are board and not consumed with Google News, the BBC, and NPR


Vignette

A Story

Best 4th sketch

Best place to get in out of the Ozone

Learn to love the job YOU have

The Truth About Alcohol

Based on the worst article ever written

The Evil Empire has managed to combine several of the worst things in the world creating a device to destroy parents and passers by. The Evil Empire (EE) does not expect the venture to be profitable at first. But they have taken on ventures before that they knew would fail (they needed the tax write off). Spokes persons for Satan (AKA the enemy of good, the lord of evil, the tempter of human beings and the leader of the fallen angels) said the old man would be taking the helm on this one. Rumors have it that a particularly slow day in the misery department Satan had clapped his hands together (more mischievously than evilly) and given birth to the idea. Spokes persons for the EE denied these allegations stating "I think this has come about because every 7 year old needs a cell phone and every parent wants it to play It's A Small World After All."

Drive-by Blogging

At some point on a weekend morning I will usually be found sitting on the couch (surrounded by remotes for TiVo, the TV, the receiver thingy for the volume and cats) channel chasing. Sure I could use the guide or watch things TiVo has already found for me but I want an old movie or a western. Mostly I end up settling for flipping back and forth between weekend morning grade movies. I've seen about half of every bad morning movie ever. But I get them confused or smoosh them together like Mars Attacks - Back to the Future III, The History of Ancient Egypt with *Brendan Fraser, or think Scary Movie is the same as Scream (both were about as frightening).
*Much to my relief I found out he did actually host a history show about Egypt and my mind has not deteriorated that much.

This propensity is not just TV though. I have done it with books too. But usually that's a reference thing. Like looking up another book mentioned in a book or a historical fact. The point is its happening with blogs now. I can't help it. When I have down time at work I have DOWN TIME. First it was the next blog button, then it was when I found a blog I liked (especially if they hadn't posted since I checked 5 seconds ago) I'd go through all their links. Then I started going through all the links of people posting. This was the point when I realized I may have a problem. I had been in the shadows, and unknown voyeur, a cyber peeping Tom. It was confirmed I had a problem when I actually started doing drive by comments. Now, having revealed myself, I began to see lots of comments from people I had seen comment before. They were everywhere. It was as if the Internet is actually smaller than we thought. Commenters overlapping on completely unrelated blogs. That's when the paranoia sets in. Is it proof of the Monolithic Collapse Theory? Where is all the *Dark Energy of the internet? Is the universe collapsing in on itself? If the internet is as vast as we think it is what's with the 3 degrees of separation? And how come I haven't run into Kevin Bacon yet?
I guess people are right after all when they use the term "Internet Community". I just always thought it was bigger.

Well if you're here now, I'm sure I'll see you around later.

* No, not Dark Energy like the "Dark Side of the Force Luke" more like the rapidly accelerating Dark Energy in the universe that will cause all galaxies to run away from each other until they are no longer visible, and our own Milky Way will become an isolated island adrift in a sea of totally black space

FYI
Patsy Kensit was in The Adventures of Pollyanna with John Randolph
John Randolph was in You've Got Mail with Meg Ryan
Meg Ryan was in In the Cut with Kevin Bacon
and I've watched them all at the same time on a Saturday

Bye Neighbor

Because I know they judge me too

People on the streets...

I don't care if it is a Louie Vuitton bag sir, it's still purse.

If you live in the windy city:
Girls, buy a longer or tighter skirt
Men, get better toupee glue

Are we really still doing stilletoes? Well maybe for a REALLY hot date. But jam your fat foot in them during the day? Questionable. And NEVER with fat ankles!

Translucent white pants: See above

Tube tops with old women in them *Shiver with me if your under 70*

Word of advice men. The thinnest palest spandex bike shorts...leave nothing good to the imagination guys

Powder. I get it. It's a sweat thing. I appreciate it and do it too. But you look like you've been mauled by Powdered Doughnut the pusher man. Here is the key, dont get dressed and then decide to do it. It really works best inside the clothes. I can tell you didn't want your tits and butt crack to sweat...and isn't that almost as bad?

Yes I realize my ankle socks with a dress make me look 12. But I can fix that in a snap once I get into work.

The Bigger the Bang the better Theory

Happy Birthday America.

What do you get the country that has *everything?
Oh I know. We usually throw this gigantic cook out and set the night time sky on fire. Some of us get really drunk and blow up 1/4 sticks of dynamite (with varying degrees of injury). But when you reach 229 it's time to shake things up.

*everything except: peace, social compassion, equality, realistic standard of living, leaders who represent "we the people", and a crystal nut dish.

This year NASA really out did themselves
(it put my girl-in-a-cake to shame).

NASA went out and got America some comet tail.
You really out did yourselves. You just has to be the big shot. The biggest fireworks weren't enough for you were they?
Who but NASA (and the American taxpayers) would spend over $267 million on a gift. Which reminds me, you know I still had to pay the cake girl AND the pastry chef, either you guys go in on it with me or I'm not chipping in on the comet.

Alright I admit it. I watched it and it was really cool. I saw it on the NASA channel and the *pictures were almost as cool as the roomful of geeks jumping for joy when the "820-pound module collided with Tempel 1" (large thing we threw hit flying thing we aimed it at).
The geek speak to english interpreter likened it to "...the astronomical equivalent of a 767 airliner running into a mosquito".
America countered with "It's the thought that counts"

*I think they let the geeks name the pictures. Don't the titles remind you of some bad songs? No? Just me?
And who named the project Deep Impact anyway?

As we (R and I) watched. R was frantically loading up pages on his laptop (NOW WITH NEW WI-FI, which I'm sure I'll have to tell you about later seeing as I'm going to hear about it until I learn EVERYTHING there is to know about it) so he could immediately post it on his blog (he is so devoted to his readers). He and I were both a little astonished that there was very little info and the NASA site couldn't even handle the number of hits it was getting. You would think that with all those geeks in NASA, ONE of them has the skills to set up a site just for this project.
Florida Today did a really good job. They must have had some reporter watching the NASA channel and then typing up a synopsis every other moment.
I did stay up a while watching it even after most of the pictures had been released. I kept waiting for the worm to pop it's head out of the crater it made.

Crater it made? Hey wait a minute. A mosquito can make a crater in a 767 airliner? I guess it's a good thing planes fly where mosquito's don't. Well, no one said it was a smooth translation from geek to english.
Anyhoo. I guess I'll just send bills out for the cake and girl since I don't have the legal eagles or the time to fight with the IRS over the whole NASA thing. Besides, I don't want to be that guy who refuses to go in on a gift that EVERYONE else went in on.